Beer and " statistical correlation "

Forgive the pedantry for a moment : the dictionary defines

    " correlation " as  the degree to which two or more attributes  or

    measurements  on the same group of elements  show a tendency to vary

    together . ( Webster's College Dictionary )

               Again and again in the HEALTH NEWS , I encounter this

    flaw in logical reasoning : a statistical correlation is established

    -for example  between church going  and longevity or in today's news,

    between - of all things ! - beer drinking and a health heart. Then

    the naive scientifically illiterate  assumes that medical science has

    advanced in real knowledge.

                Common sense would caution doctors  against telling the

    public  that an  ADDICTIVE substance- like beer or wine - is good for

    them in " moderate " quantities. My own experience is that this sort

    of pseudo-science will only reinforce problem drinking : " If a little

    of the stuff is good , then more must be better !  "

          .
             I'll bet a strong statistical correlation can be established

    between people  with cancer who visit Elvis Presley's  Graceland mansion

    and the percentage among them of MIRACLE CURES - a correlation that

    would put the famous Fatima to shame !

               What about a statistical correlation between work as a

    newspaper editor and stomach ulcers ?

                  Or between being left-handed ( sinister in Latin ) and

    being a serial killer ?

              Unless you know the CAUSE of a phenomenon, a statistical

    correlation only suggests further investigation.

                  Now I need a nice cold beer. Good for heart, you know.

Lost Catholics- so very, very sad !

         Reading letters and columns in Boston newspapers, I 'm struck

    by the profound crisis of FAITH now in so many Catholics. Imagine

    being a 65 year old lady - facing ETERNITY - without the faith of

    her whole life  still there to console her !  How easy to understand

    those Catholics on the defensive, thinking  that there is also

    a conspiracy of EVIL against the Church.

             Brought up Catholic myself , I concluded a long time ago

    that FAITH was simply beyond REASON,  and not to take the Catholic

    Church too seriously. But I never wanted to lose respect for the

    2000 year old institution. Oh, how the mighty have fallen !

               I study the face of Cardinal Law. And see only a

    bewildered and tired bureaucrat. Remember the movie " The Cardinal "

    that came out in the early 60s- when Catholic  churches like St.

    Paul's in Cranston were packed on Sundays ? What a difference a

    generation makes !

              Behind all that grandeur of a prince of the Church was

    the simple faith of  millions of humble people. When that is gone,

    the mystique is gone. Not even Bingo games will bring it back !

                If Jesus was not a poor deluded fool, it is time for

    HIM to come back - and straighten things out.

               Without even being a conservative in matters of faith,

    I can see how the Church  self-destructed with Vatican II.

                By the late 60s the Devil was REFORMING things Catholic.

            That was when you visited an empty church and suddenly

    felt that it was really EMPTY.

                  Is  cosmic chaos the only supreme force in the

    universe ?  God help us !

" The only hope for Rhode Island "

             The Bob Whitcomb suggestion ( Achorn commentary, Aug.6 )

    that Rhode Island merge with Connecticut is more than just chuckle

    worthy.  In general many social and economic problems of the United

    States might be easier to deal with if we stop thinking of the 50

    states as if they were almost sovereign countries.

          The United States could be re-organized - without great insult

    to the Constitution - into a few political DEPARTMENTS - with unified

    laws. This will reduce the number of professional jurists and politicians

    -now mostly corrupt hacks.

           And there should be limits  set for the population and immigration

    numbers in every state. No way can we in Rhode Island  support a population

    of more than a million . The  Greater Providence area is already nearly

    unlivable.

           At some point the most democratic government must tell people

    that they have no absolute right to reproduce the race- with no regard

    to eugenics and the ecological situation.

            In  Rhode Island -because the stupid of every race and nationality

    are more prolific than the intelligent - we might soon have a vast population

    of cretins , nearly unteachable and inclined to crime - lorded over by

    a  privileged minority.

        And how horrible to see so many of those cretins driving cars in

    in the once idyllic Ocean State !

                 LIFE CANNOT  GO ON IN THE SAME WAY !  As the late Isaac

    Asimov said: perhaps we just have a choice of catastrophes.

A Mideast GAMBLE ?

In the anti-war movie " The Deer Hunter " one of the

    main characters - just an ordinary all-American kid in the beginning -

    in the end, crazed by a senseless war, ends up playing Russian Roulette

    with the enemy - just to pass time and make a few bucks on the side.

          After reading about seven kids killed at an Israel university -

    and beginning to feel the " Ground-hog Day "  affect with the LATEST

    NEWS , I have conceived a new form of the state lottery :

               Call it JEW_-PAL . Millions can play this game daily for

    years to come. The daily winners are all those who correctly guess

    the exact number of Jews and Palestinians killed on a given day of

    the week. Only holy days - either Jew or Palestinian - there will

    be a mega lottery. You can win millions then !

              You can also win ten dollars just by correctly guessing the

    age in months or years of the youngest Jew or Palestinian killed on

    the day of the ticket.

               Like the macabre  song " The Monster Mash "  my  " JEW-PAL "

    could be the hit of the land .

                  I myself don't gamble. And would oppose an Indian casino

    here in Rhode Island. The Indians are just not responsible enough yet.

    And all that cash would go to their heads - as fast as that booze they

    like so much !