Brother Rick 's adventure with a bat flying into his Foster , Rhode Island home . Story made a Providence Journal Mark Patinkin column

Message: Rick vs. THE BAT in his Foster Home From: rlnruggieri@gmail.com Document link: Bat in the house separates wimps from the women Bat in the house separates wimps from the women Newspaper May 5, 1985 Providence Journal (RI) Mark Patinkin He called to say that macho is on the decline. I asked what made him think so. He said it happened the other night, in his Foster home. His name is Rick Ruggieri. It was about 8 p.m. His wife and daughter were out working. He was downstairs, in his pajamas, watching "Apocalypse Now." "Feeling very macho," he said. Then his 8-year-old son screamed. "I had visions of the chain saw massacre," said Ruggieri, He rushed to the stairs. As he did, a bat swooped across his head. "Bat," shouted his son. Ruggieri dropped back. "I'm a city boy," he explained. "I thought city boys were macho," I said. "Well," he said. "I'm in advertising now, which is probably a wimp kind of job." I ASKED what he did next. "I decided to seek a weapon," he said. "I had these decorative swords locked in my office." "You used swords?" "No," said Ruggieri. "I realized the keys were upstairs, where the bat was." Instead, they got brooms. Now, slowly, they moved toward the second floor. "In my pajamas," said Ruggieri, "which always makes me feel like a little boy." They looked through a few rooms; then the bat came at them. "It was something out of Laurel and Hardy," said Ruggieri. "I'm covering my son, he's covering me, and this bat is swooping everywhere." They retreated downstairs. That's when he remembered bats don't like light. He turned on every switch he could find. It drove the bat into the one dark place - his son's bedroom. Now they had it. Again, they crept back up. They got to the doorway. They poised for attack. "Then it started swooping, again," said Ruggieri. This time, they retreated all the way to the kitchen. "Did you at least shut the bedroom door?" I asked. "I didn't want to reach in," Ruggieri said. "I was afraid the thing would swoop down." RUGGIERI POURED himself a martini. His son poured an orange juice. Then they called the police. The dispatcher said she'd try to find the animal officer. Two hours later, no animal officer. In desperation, they came up with a third plan. "We remembered Ricky's BB gun," said Ruggieri. Once again, back upstairs. The bat was hanging in the corner. "This time," he told me, "I'm really thinking Martin Sheen." "So you got the gun?" I said. "No," said Ruggieri. "It swooped again and we retreated again." That's when the females came home. "I'll bet they got hysterical," I said. "That's the point," said Ruggieri. "They didn't. They were cool." His daughter shrugged, marched upstairs, walked into her room and called her boyfriend. I asked what his wife did. "Walked upstairs and shut the door to where the bat was." "I thought it was dangerous to shut that door," I said. "I thought so, too," said Ruggieri. His son slept on the couch. Ruggieri watched the rest of "Apocalypse Now." "Feeling a bit less macho," he said. Then he went to bed. "Now comes the kicker," he told me. "There's more?" I said. "There's the grand finale," he said. At 7 a.m., his wife got up alone and grabbed a broom. "Where were you?" I asked. "Under the covers," he said. "Still asleep." I asked what she did. "It was like something out of a Clint Eastwood movie," he said. "She throws open the door, kicks it in practically." "This is the woman of the household," I said. "The woman," Ruggieri said. "Then she rushes in and beats the bat until the broom breaks. The thing is still squirming on the floor, though, so she grabs the BB gun and does a commando - smashing it with the butt of the gun." That's when Ruggieri woke up. "I wasn't sure whether the bat was killing her or she was killing the bat," he said. "And?'' "So I kind of peeked in," he said. "And there was my wife with the gun and the broken broom, picking up the bat with her gloves." "What did she say?" "She asked if I could fix the broom. I said I'd be happy to." I WONDERED what a man could possibly say to a woman after an ordeal like that. "Well," said Ruggieri, "we had breakfast. And before I could finish my coffee, I had to turn to her and say, 'Thank you, you're my hero.' " He told me he has two final thoughts. First: "If any guy comes up to me and says women are incapable of this or that, I just may pick up my wife's pocketbook and hit him with it." Second: He hopes Martin Sheen was looking the other way. Copyright © 1985. LMG Rhode Island Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved. https://infoweb.newsbank.com/apps/news/openurl?ctx_ver=z39.88-2004&rft_id=info%3Asid/infoweb.newsbank.com&svc_dat=NewsBank&req_dat=975169ED48364577BEE7A7166DC4CC5E&rft_val_format=info%3Aofi/fmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Actx&rft_dat=document_id%3Anews%252F1525C08955227620